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My father lay dying. It was 5am in the morning. I leant down and kissed his forehead. I love you dad. I was not sure if he registered. I walked over to my mother who had been standing a little away from his bed. I held her in my arms for a good while. The taxi would arrive any minute. The plane back to Brisbane departing at 6 am. Whatever happens you've done your best mom, I told her. I could see she wasn't convinced. She had loved this man for over sixty years. A dutiful devoted wife. He is my life she told me. With that I kissed her on the cheek and left her tending to her waning paramour. My mother had nursed him for almost 5 weeks single handed and as his health declined over that time so had hers. She looked tired and frail. She was afraid.
That afternoon I received a phone call from a family friend. My mother had finally conceded that she was no longer able to care for my father at home by herself. She also conceded that it was time to seek medical assistance. She had called a doctor to the house and he had acted immediately calling an ambulance which rushed my father to hospital.
Five weeks earlier it turned out, he had experienced kidney failure and that had been the main reason for his demise. He was saved at the last minute by miraculous medical intervention and continues to recover in hospital, albeit with some complications. For a man in his mid eighties he's doing very well and as I last heard is giving the nurses plenty of cheek whenever he gets the chance.
Why did my mother and father take so long to call for medical assistance? The reason is that they are practicing Christian Scientists. Part of their faith is that they use the power of prayer for healing. They do not believe in medicine.
Please know that I not going to get into any derisive commentary about their faith or the way they practice it. I am also not going to attempt to fully explain their convictions or the current practices of this ubiquitous religion. What I do want to discuss is the paradigm of what I perceive as; a closed mind or a fixed belief causing harm. As you can imagine there has been a lot of soul searching in my family around all this. You can probably imagine the conversations. The polarity occurs between the belief at one end and the non belief at the other. So much so that for some including my mother there is extreme guilt for calling in medical assistance. At the other end there is extreme anger for not doing it several weeks ago. Another polarity is that once medical assistance has been called for then all prayer through Christian Science must cease. One excludes the other. I do not understand this and my questions is why?
What I do understand is that our thoughts are a powerful source of energy. In a sense we are what we think. Thoughts can be used to change the world. One has only to attend an Anthony Robbins seminar, listen to Esther Hicks or read the ideas supporting Quantum Physics to appreciate this. One has only to practice it oneself to realise it. I do understand the reasoning behind attending to good thoughts, to working to keep positive attention and in the case of Christian Scientists to read the bible and the Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker-Eddy to affirm and deepen scriptural knowledge.
What I don't understand is why a practice or faith has to become non-inclusive of other practices or faiths. Especially when in the case of Christian Science, holding exclusively on to a belief, clearly had detrimental consequences. Is it not apparent that when the flow of life is interrupted, this is an indication that something needs our attention? It is certainly a human trait to lock into mindsets and beliefs. Which is clearly an attempt to create security in what is perceived as a world of insecurity where anything can happen and usually does. Why do we believe that our fixed beliefs will keep us safe? How often does it happen that we hold a fixed idea about something only to have it wrenched from us at the point of crisis. But why wait for crisis? If we can develop a sensitivity for an interruption to 'flow', might it be possible to also keep our ideas about life in a more fluid state? I am not implying that we should dissolve all morals and ethics, rather that there needs to be a constant attention to order and ease. Detecting disorder and disease is a sure-fire sign that something needs out attention.
I also understand that this dilemma relates to a fixity in attitudes and approaches to life which is directly attributed to and influenced by a generational perspective. The traditionalist views held by people such as my parents are very different to those held by people born into generations x and y.
What I want to say to Christian Scientists is that—is it not possible for a faith that was born around 200 years ago to evolve? Is it not possible that the practice of Christian Science and medicine, be it eastern or western, can become mutually inclusive? Of course there needs to be respect and consideration for different needs. But what I have always experienced as a young man growing up around Christian Science is that medicine and matters to do with the material world became a source of fear. Not to be talked about. Not to be discussed. But doesn't the very act of not talking about it, or being afraid to talk about it give it power?
I realise I am not going to resolve all the issues around dogma and fixed beliefs in one short article. But I did want to share my experience around this and I trust my family will respect the discussion. What ever happens from here I do know this: there has to be a basis of mutual respect and love when dealing with different faiths and beliefs. If my parents had decided not to call for medical help and my father had passed away I would have been very sad of course but ultimately would respect this as, their way. I do not agree with it and would urge anyone in this situation to encourage an alternate course of action. In my heart I see that it is not about exclusion, faith to faith or intra-faith where one practice cannot work with another. That the flow of life is all inclusive and that I suspect that as this is most probably the ultimate reality we will all know it one day soon enough.
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