In a loft, in San Francisco, above the fog.
Him-1: “Listen, in exactly three minutes the telephone is going to ring. That’s the time to finish our little test. You answer
it.”
Him-2: “What do you mean... answer it?”
“Pick up the phone, idiot, and talk to the person on the other end... as me!
“As you? How the hell... I can’t do that!”
“Of course you can!”
“I’m a lousy actor, it won’t work.”
“This has nothing to do with acting. Just be yourself. We’re carbon copies, remember?”
“That’s only a coincidence!”
“You become me and that proves my point?”
“What do I say?”
“Just listen to her, just talk to her.”
“You mean ‘she’ is a she? Come on!”
“And a very beautiful she, and ‘she’ is a junkie and I am her drug. And ‘she’ comes to me for her fix."
“Oh that’s great... I mean... what about my voice?”
“You’ve heard me enough. Just let yourself get into it. You’ll do fine.”
“There, it's ringing, there she is. Pick it up, pick it up!”
She: “Kindred?” Kindred, are you allowing me to come over and see you?”
Him2: “Uh... I don’t think we can do it. Something’s come up... Mmmm.”
“What’s the matter? You sound so far away, so... .”
“I’m coming down with something, been talking all day. Anyway, I have to say no. Got to take care of this, uh, something, may have to
go out of town for a few days. I’ll call you.”
“Kindred?”
“Yes?”
“You will call me, won’t you?”
“When I say I will, I do it.”
“Thank you. Goodnight, my love.”
Him-1:
“You were terrific! I thought I was listening to a tape of myself. And that last bit: ‘When I say I will, I do it’. Vintage moi, my friend! Bravo!
Incidentally, I never use the word ‘anyway’.”
“I’ll remember that.”
“Now we have to settle the bet. You lost, right? Okay... then this is what I want to pay off my marker: You passed yourself off with
someone who knows me pretty well, knows my voice, intimately. I want to do the same with someone who knows you. I want to whisper in someone’s ear and have them see your
eyes looking at them.”
“Don’t know who that could be.”
"How about a girlfriend, a woman who’s been up close and personal? That one you keep talking about. I bet she knows you well. I bet
she knows you real well. Perfect."
“No! No! That’s not perfect!”
“Why not? She’ll be a great challenge... quid pro quo, tit-for-tit... why not? You were me and now I’ll be you, then
we’ll be even. What’s her number?”
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