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The best writers love a clever turn of phrase, wordplay, and language full of wit and wonder. They avoid the easy cliché and search for just the right word or words to evoke powerful images and emotions. But writers can also use stark and sparse language to trigger the imagination. Think Cormac McCarthy. Sometimes it's the brutal honesty or the folksy wisdom of the common man that awakens us and grabs us by the throats. Think poet Charles Bukowski and songwriter Billy Joe Shaver. But in the end, whether the writing is sparse or contains long descriptive sentences, it has to ring true. If not, then the language holds no meaning for us.
The recent tea party phenomenon may have some folks wondering what happened to "their" country as they hotfoot it to have their picture taken with Sarah Palin, I have other concerns. I'm beginning to wonder what has happened to "my" native tongue. And no I'm not worried about it being supplanted by Spanish as some of my xenophobic brethren in the Southwest are. No my friends, what I'm worried about is perfectly good words which have stood for decades if not centuries being supplanted by words or phrases that don't ring true.
A few weeks ago, I was listening to a radio ad extolling the virtues of a car dealership. Nothing unusual there. What was unusual was the ending. Please call or visit one of our "automotive relationship counselors", the announcer urged. I had never heard that term before. Maybe this is something they say in Beverly Hills at a Lexus, BMW, or Mercedes dealership. Maybe there is someone on site who can help me have a relationship with a new car. Date it, take it out to dinner, buy it a drink or some high octane gasoline, and caress it. It sounds so romantic, doesn't it? But this wasn't some new age Beverly Hills dealership; it was a small town Texas Ford dealership. And from what I have been able to find out, "automotive relationship counselors" are nothing more than "salesmen", "salesladies", or the much newer minted term "sales associates". But automotive relationship counselor sounds so sexy doesn't it? And it looks better on a business card.
Person of interest is a term that is increasingly used by law enforcement officials and certain media types. The term however has no legal standing. Suspect, a word that has served us well over the years has given way to the ambiguous person of interest. Used primarily in high profile terrorism or murder cases, the term will eventually be used to describe common thugs and petty criminals. The guy caught on the grainy surveillance video holding a knife to your throat demanding your wallet, watch, and other valuables is not the suspect. He is a person of interest. If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, it must be a duck right? Nope, not a duck, not a suspect, a person of interest. Hey Joe, let's take our suspect…I mean person of interest downtown and interrogate…I mean get his take on an incident (crime) that happened yesterday. Sounds like a kinder, gentler, law enforcement and a kinder, gentler criminal. We can keep talking in euphemisms until we almost believe it. Perhaps a quote from acerbic TV judge Judith Sheindlin sums it up the best, "Don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining".
There are a number of common words or phrases that have been rendered meaningless or their meanings have changed radically over time. While it is not my intention to engage in some sort of academic exercise in semantics or etymology, it is my intent to show that our common vernacular is being degraded to the point where true communication is difficult to accomplish. Graduation season is now among us and employers even in these troubled economic times will be out in full force recruiting the best and the brightest. They will dangle the words "competitive pay and benefits" and "flexible" schedules in front of hungry eyes yearning to breathe the flatulence emitted from corporate orifices…offices. However "competitive" no longer means striving for excellence in a battle royale to see who will pay the most to prospective employees. It now means a race to the bottom. We will damn well pay you what everybody else pays which is next to nothing. Profit sharing? There are no profits. "Creative" (another troubled word) accounting has taken care of that. Health insurance? It's available but you won't be able to afford it. We do offer a flexible schedule as long as you're willing to work nights and weekends. Welcome to the "competitive" workplace.
Even figures of speech such as "I'll give you one hundred percent" which have been clearly defined and understood in the past have unfortunately proven to be woefully inadequate as a means of communication. When one said they would give you one hundred percent it was generally understood that that person would give you their all. All of their efforts, focus, and drive – the sum total of their being. Then some wise-ass perhaps on the football field got the idea that they should give one hundred and ten percent. Then in a bit of braggadocio, the 110 jumped to 120, then 200, and then an astronomical 1000 percent. So then it seemed that the person offering only a 100 percent was holding back something even though that person was just as dedicated as the 1000 percenter. And for you people only offering a woeful 90-95 percent? Drop down and give me ten or is that twenty?
So now kids, let's use some of the new words and phrases we've learned in a sentence: Yesterday, while on my way to interview for a position with competitive pay and benefits as an automotive relationship counselor eager to give 1000 percent I encountered a break-in and was named a person of interest. It all sounds just a little bit phony and hollow doesn't it? And that's my point precisely.
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